‘Harley Quinn,’ and why we all lose when superheroes can’t eat p*ssy

In the multiverse of comedian books, there ‘s room for just about every conceivable iteration on the classical superheroes we know and love. Between Zombie Dr. Strange, Centaur Superman, and even a Baby Batman, the possibilities for balmy alternate realities seem endless. But apparently there is one world power that will forever elude all our most popular heroes across the entirety of their ever-expanding extended universes — and it ‘s eating cunt. At least that ‘s what DC explicitly told Justin Halpern, co-creator of HBO Max ’ s lewd Harley Quinn animated series. In an consultation with Variety, Halpern revealed that they ‘d been forced to censor a moment in Season 3 which depicted Batman going down on Catwoman, because DC insisted that “ ‘heroes do n’t do that. ‘ ” While Halpern protested the notion that all superheroes were selfish partners, DC appeared far more concern with Batman ‘s viability as a consumer product. Unlike the villains who do most of the orgy on Harley Quinn, superheroes generate lots of profit in the shape of kid-friendly toys. so, to sum up Halpern ‘s recollection of DC ‘s logic, “ ‘It ‘s difficult to sell a toy if Batman is besides going down on person. ‘ ”

The newsworthiness of Batman being a canonically ungenerous fan exploded across the internet when the consultation first came out last summer ( with even Justice League director Zack Snyder contributing his own chaotic tweet to the hold forth ). But after the beginning three episodes of Harley Quinn Season 3 dropped on Thursday, July 28, we ultimately got to see the censoring in action for ourselves. And, let me tell you, Catwoman is n’t the only one who was left out to dry by DC ‘s ban on oral sexual activity. In fact, we ‘ve all lost a lot more than just one joke from an animate series due to the bizarre primness that comedian books impose on their superheroes ‘ sex. In the Harley Quinn Season 3, episode 3 opener, the clunkily-reworked joke comes after Poison Ivy ends a cry by commiserating with Catwoman about how much better she could do than the guy she ‘s presently seeing. Catwoman agrees, alone to put down the call to reveal an excessively eager Batman on his hands and knees, hunched over her lap, performing … a foot massage. “ Shall I continue ? ” Batman asks the obviously disgruntled Catwoman like the latex-clad bomber that he is. “ No, it ‘s not worth it, ” she sighs. While the original implications of the setting are hard to miss, the censoring neuters what should ‘ve been a dynamite opener into a perplexingly limp start. The show ‘s superb writers recover quickly. But this controversy is lone the most recent case of how the MCU and DCEU ‘s blue rules around superheroes is holding the integral genre back. Critics have been calling out Marvel ‘s conspicuous asexuality since 2013. But in the past year, fabled directors like Steven Soderbergh, Pedro Almodóvar, and Paul Verhoeven joined the choir by pointing to it as their main gripe with the comedian book coup d’etat of the entertainment industry.

Erasing the universe of sexual desire from these characters ‘ lives makes for some pretty dehumanizing storytelling .
The hottest people alive are all virgins who hang out in skin-tight suits together without ever really getting horny for each other.

The full miss of fucking has become one of the most alienate parts of these fantastic cinematic universes, where the hottest people alive are all virgins who hang out in skintight suits in concert without ever truly getting horny for each other. Yet while superheroes may not be allowed to express desire or experience pleasure, they ‘re besides still simultaneously required to adhere to nowadays ‘s hard-and-fast, hypersexualized body ideals. Like live-action play themselves, the superhero movie headliner is sold to audiences as a sex symbol who can only ever be the object quite than a subject of voyeuristic pleasure .Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy share a bed in Season 3 of the HBO Max animated series "Harley Quinn"

Yeah, this reads like more than just a foot massage to me…

Credit: HBO Max

tellingly, DC only cares about policing the sex of its hero characters. Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn are given sum shore leave to munch away at each other ‘s carpets throughout Season 3, as they celebrate their newfound love with an “ Eat Bang Kill ” go. ( Is pleasuring your partner something only the morally corrupt do ? ) To make matters worse, Batman ‘s moral virtue ( or rather commercial viability ) does n’t seem at all threatened by the near-sociopathic acts of mass violence he commits later on in the temper. We wo n’t get into specifics to spare you the spoilers, but let ‘s good say they include but are not limited to terrorizing a traumatize child and about sacrificing the entirety of Gotham to get what he wants.

At the end of the day, we all know that DC ‘s insistence that superheroes do n’t schtup is a fiscal rather a moral instruction. It ‘s a damn dishonor, though. There ‘s undoubtedly batch of money to be made from leaning into — rather than shying off from — the amorousness of it all by launching an adult argumentation of superhero-themed toys alternatively, if you catch our freewheel. Until then, though, I guess Catwoman will have to make do with caring for her own kitty. anyhow, she can keep her sulky, neuter Dark Knight. We ‘re barely happy that we get to join Harley and Ivy on their aroused honeymoon. Harley Quinn ( opens in a new tab ) Season 3 kicks off with three episodes on HBO Max on July 28. New episodes will air each Thursday through September 15. ( opens in a new tab )

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